Men’s Health Month
June is Men’s Health Month, which makes for a perfect time to bring up the conversation around men’s mental health and the supports they have in their homes, workplaces, and communities. There are countless obstacles in place of men seeking out mental health supports: social stigma, perceived lack of resources, shame and guilt, fear of seeming weak. The list goes on. If you are a man reading this, have you felt any of these? If so, rest assured that times have changed, and men seeking out mental health supports is not nearly as stigmatized as it used to be. In fact, quite the opposite.
Talking to someone about your feelings is a hard thing to do, but once you start, it gets a lot easier pretty much right away. Overcoming the initial difficulty eventually gives way to relief, validation, and even hope that your situation can and will improve. Knots of frustration can be untangled, even if they have been left like Christmas lights forgotten in storage for years. Working with a counsellor provides a non-judgemental place where you can talk about whatever is on your mind and work towards solutions. You might even be surprised how much lighter you feel after even your first session.
Earlier in the blog it was mentioned that men are more encouraged than ever before to pursue mental health supports, and that is true. There has been a massive shift over the last few years about men who are able to talk about their feelings and accept support when they are struggling. Vulnerability is not seen as a weakness, rather it is a strength, and one that more and more men are embracing. It takes strength to be honest about what you’re feeling, to ask questions, and to explore parts of yourself that you’ve been taught to ignore. Counselling doesn’t demand perfection, only authenticity.
Mental health support does not exist in a vacuum. If you start seeing a counsellor, the small changes you make in your life will start to add up, and people will notice. This is especially important to the young men in your life who learn by what they see. Teaching them that emotions aren’t dangerous, asking for help is normal, and vulnerability is an important component of masculinity are lessons that can have a generational impact. Unhealthy emotional cycles can be broken, but it takes courage to go against what you may have been taught as a youth. Small changes are most effective, so take a break when you are overwhelmed, use breathing or grounding strategies together with your kids, and openly talk to them about what mental health is and how they can get help.
Masculinity is flexible, not an age old and immovable idea. There is room for empathy, for emotional expression, for joy. Being a strong leader today involves stewardship and communication to the generations to come, and this starts with you. If you are interested in what working with a counsellor is like, call Walmsley EFAP and we would be happy to answer any questions you may have.
Rob Baker, MA RCC