Caring for the elderly is a topic that continues to be more relevant and critical each passing day. As members of your family age, your role can change into something much different than what you are accustomed to: a caregiver. This new role can encompass many new tasks and responsibilities, making it all too easy to lose track of your own mental health when you need it the most. Elder care is not just about medical attention or assistance with daily tasks; it’s about preserving dignity, fostering connection, and ensuring quality of life.
Watching family members age can be difficult, particularly when you begin to see cognitive decline, loss of mobility, and increased hopelessness. Many people in this position experience what is known as “caregiver burnout” which often looks like emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that can chip away at the foundation of your life. Alongside burnout, there can be feelings of guilt, shame, and resentment that, if left unchecked, can erode relationships and compromise your ability to care for anyone, including yourself. If you are noticing that you are becoming irritable, short- tempered, or avoidant, take a step back and try to figure out where you can make a change. Talk to other family members if possible, to ask for support, or you can book an appointment with a counsellor to work through your emotions and find a path forward that works for you.
Caregivers often feel the need to ask for permission to practice self -care since they so often prioritize others over themselves. Let this be a blanket permission: please take care of yourself! You cannot pour from an empty cup, and by making sure you tend to your own wants and needs, you become a more effective and compassionate caregiver as well. Self- care looks different for everyone, but there are a few constants: schedule breaks for yourself, stay connected to your support network, ask for help if you need it, and stay on top of your own appointments.
If you are feeling particularly stressed, it can also help to see your situation from a different angle. Yes, providing care is a cornerstone of this role. However, you are also a passionate advocate, a familiar face, a source of comfort, and a provider of dignity. You are a beating heart. That is not to say that these roles must all be done by you and you alone, but there can also be a source of pride knowing that you are helping someone in such a profound and meaningful way.
It takes a village to provide care at any age. If you are uncertain about what kinds of resources are available, do not hesitate to ask another family member, HR representative, or counsellor. Services like MAID, hospice, and long-term care facilities often require extensive paperwork and documentation, so allow yourself to share that kind of work with others who can help you. Family caregivers are truly unsung heroes whose contributions can make the golden years of someone’s life comfortable and meaningful, but that should never come at the cost of your own mental health. If you are struggling or need someone to talk to, connect with Walmsley EFAP.